America the Beautiful

It sure isn’t easy being an American! (Especially if you are one of the few and proud who worked for President George W. Bush) Although we are the biggest, best and most prosperous country in the world, most everyone else can’t stand us. While I’ve been in Australia, I’ve tried to be the best ambassador possible for our great nation. I’ve shown that we don’t all lack a basic knowledge of geography and international politics. I have also shown them that we are not all close minded ideologists who want to live in the dark ages. Unfortunately, there are still those who choose to believe that the United States is the “great Evil.”

I’ve made some unsavory commentary on my blog about people from other countries. Obviously, I love satire, and pretty much everything I’ve written in meant to be humorous. I realize that others may not interpret my words in the way in which I intended. If I have offended, I am sorry. If I made you laugh, I’m glad. I’m not one to beat around the bush and I always tell people that we shouldn’t take life to seriously because we all end up dead.

I will continue to believe that America is the bastion of hope for so many in this world, and that it remains the best. No non-American will make me feel differently. I love my country, but I also love this experience afforded to me. From now on, I’ll keep my blog a-political (unless, of course, I see something on Drudge that I cannot resist commenting on).

God Bless America, and here’s hoping I can still find a job after 4 years at UT and a lifetime of being outspoken!

I figured that today I'd teach everyone what I've learned (and retained) of the Australian language thus far. So here's a list of words, and what they really mean, in American!

G'day -- Hello, obviously. But, no one says it here.
Mate -- Friend, used all the time. It also replaces the words: dude, man, sir, and ma'am
Cheers/ Ta -- Thank You
Cheers/ No worries -- You're welcome
Cheers -- This word is actually quite versitile, it can be used to describe a good thing.

ex:

Australian: Hey Niles, I found out that Gin is half off!
Niles: CHEERS MATE!

Goon -- Boxed Wine
Pav -- Pavillion
Rubbish -- Trash
Service Station -- Gas Station
News Agency -- Convenience Store
Trolly -- Grocery Cart

Another phrase used in Australian is saying something is ____ as.

ex:

In American: It's cold as a witch's tit!
In Australian: It's cold as.

Makes no sense I know.

This is all I can remember for now, but there will be updates as I learn more of the lingo.

Cheers

Beach and Kangaroos

Sorry it's been a few days. I had a very busy weekend, filled with all kinds of activities relating to my educational endeavors. I was able to squeeze in a trip to the beach in between reading all my syllabi and pre-reading the textbooks. I also took some pictures of the kangaroos on campus. Yes, they live on our campus. They have claws that are as long as our fingers, and they just gave birth, so we definitely do not approach them. Enjoy!

Kondalilla National Park

Today on the Australian Hinterland Tour we went to two different parks. The first was Kondalilla National Park. The park is beautiful, but it was hotter than hell. It is part of the Australian Rainforest, and I was completely drenched. The falls were amazing. And the uphill climb... let's just say, I thought I was going to pass out from how many and how steep the steps were. We also had to spend more time looking at our feet than at the scenery, there was about 2 feet of path across, it was muddy, wet, rocky, and had drop offs -- and much of it had no railing. Here are a few pictures of what I got to see. (I'll be uploading pictures from the second park tomorrow).

This is from the top of the falls looking down.

The scenery here sucks doesn't it?

Picture Perfect Problems

First off, I would like to apologize for my diatribe against Canadians. I still think they are abnoxious, but I had been drinking a few "adult" beverages and have realized that cursing is terribly inappropriate, especially when you are trying to make a valid point. Sorry to everyone, that I stooped to the level of a Canadian.

Second, I know you are all looking forward to seeing pictures. Well, Australia is not America, and there are a few reasons why I have not uploaded any photos (other than the ones outside my apartment). First, I have been busy/partying so photos have taken a back seat. Second, Internet in Australia does not equal Internet in America. In the U.S., you pay $40 per month and do whatever the hell you want. Here, you pay $40 per month and get to do 3GB (gigabytes) worth of surfing. Those of you who are computer people know what I mean. For those of you who aren't, it means I can do e-mail, Facebook, and Drudge (aka. a video will max me out for the month). If I want another GB I have to pay $10.

Unfortunately, the 3G limit applies to uploads as well. At first I thought I could bypass this by going to the Uni (they call university here Uni) and uploading all I want on their servers. As it turns out, they have daily limits. So, unfortunately, I won't be able to post hundreds of photos (until I get to the end of the month and max out my usage).

This means, please don't send me e-mails with attachments, photos or video. I'm sure I'd love to see them, but I need to be able to get online so Mom and Dad know I haven't perished in a boxing match with a kangaroo.

In other news.... I am going on the Hinterland Bus Trip tomorrow which takes us to Kondalilla Falls. It is about a 2 hour walk through the Australian rain forest and at they end (they claim) you see the most beautiful waterfall on Earth. The picture of that will go up. The tour organizer also told me that I could go swimming. I said FTS (f*** that s***). Australia has crocs, 7 of the 10 most poisonous animals, and all kinds of other shit. I'm not swimming anywhere unless it is a pool with a fence around it that is small enough to get out of in a hurry.

I talked to Mom today and told her of all my exotic adventures. My biggest one being to the shopping mall in Mooloolaba. Moolooolaba is the closest "city" to Sippy Downs (where I'm living) and it actually has a great mall. The best part about it is the grocery store. I know, when I first got there and saw it I was like WTF, they have a grocery store in a mall?? But I'm not complaining because you can take a bus there, and when the closest one before that is a 20 minute walk, psh, unless they are selling Bud Light for $10 a case I ain't goin!

Well, I think that's long enough for today. I'm still having a great time and still haven't been bitten by any exotic animals/insects. At least, not yet. If you think you've seen a spider, think again. There is a fucking HUGE spider that lives on my patio. It's at least 4 inches long and has a huge stinger (I guess that's what you call it?). Then, today, some big hairy-ass spider came int he apartment because one of my friends didn't shut the door all the way. I wanted to kill it but the Aussie's said it didn't deserve to die. I decided to use her favorite cup to pick it up and throw it out - hahaha. Anyways, there are no bugs in the U.S., no in the U.S. I'd call them specks. Here the bugs are the size of small children. Enough rambling.

Cheers! (as they say down under)

We're not in Kansas anymore...

So, today we've been having a torrential down-pour of rain. Thank God. The heat has been blistering. Now, I love the heat, but even the Australians here say they can hardly bear it. It's been around 90+ degrees at 90%+ humidity. And there is no AC anywhere, except for classrooms on campus. This is not the Outback.

On a side note, I have found that the hardest barrier Americans have when studying abroad is conversion. People don't think about how much they use units of measurement. People go, oh its 28 degrees. What the hell? Trying to explain the standard units to people who live with metric and vice versa is difficult. Fortunately I found an application on my cell phone that does conversions.

I've been too busy to take pictures for the past couple days, but it is gorgeous here.

Another thing I've noticed about Australia, is that our American tag line "No rules, just right," is a farce. Don't get me wrong, I love it here, but it's a police state. The government levies high taxes (on everything) and the rules and regulations are endless. Then everyone from Europe says, oh it's so cheap and there is no government. I tell them psh, come to the United States, you would think it was anarchy!

Having fun on the sunshine coast while everyone is snowed in, in DC.

My Resort... err Student Housing

Here are a few pictures of the Resort I will be living in for the next 5 months...

The front of my apartment, thankfully we are on the bottom floor so I won't have to lug up a ton of groceries, or stumble up or down the stairs on a late night.

The pool area.

The babie... I think the landscaping is a tad shabby.

The University of the Sunshine Coast, or the view from my back yard.

I have lake front property, and I can't wait to dive in!

The Patio... it could have been bigger.

Finally Made It

Well, after the scare of whether or not I would make it out of DC, I have finally made it to the Sunshine Coast. I got in around 7:35pm on Friday which would have been around 2:35am eastern standard. There is a 15+ hour time difference, so most of the day I'll be in a totally different date from you.

My first flight from DC to LAX was fine. I spent the night in LA. Then...... came the neverending voyage. It was 20 hours from LAX to Singapore with a stop in Narita (Tokyo) on the way to re-fuel. I took some pics of the Singapore airport, probably the best in the world, and definitely the best I've ever been to.

(Yes, they had Mrs. Fields, and they were everywhere.)

After spending about 7 hours in the Singapore airport, which was desolate because it was from the hours 2am-9am, I bid adieu to Asia and got on the plane for Brisbane. Another 8 hours later I landed, and the stewardess announced it was Friday, February 12th. Needless to say, I was thouroughly confused. I had left LAX on Wednesday, then landed in Australia Friday. Whatever, I was there. Then I got into my apartment at 10pm. Of course the office was closed and the lights were all out. I remembered that I saw no hotels on my way in and I had no intention of dragging 4 bags to one anyway. I had no mode of communication. Then I saw the night-manager's room, knocked, and he showed me to my room.

Death Storm 2010

I am leaving for Los Angeles on Tuesday, then flying to Australia Wednesday, and won't arrive till Friday. But before I left, God decided he wanted me to endure Death Storm 2010. Two+ feet of snow. The sunshine coast keeps looking better!

If you want to see more pictures of Death Storm 2010 go to my Flickr at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/47131936@N02/sets/72157623241109931/